The Truth About Single-hood

I’ve been a bit weary of telling all you singles out there of the truth about what it is to be single. But as I talked over my worries with Dustin, he encouraged me that what I had to share, rather than discouraging (which is what I believe it would be) it’s actually encouraging. 

With every journey, unless there is vision, one looses sight of what every suffering and hardship is unto. One easily gives in to hopelessness.

So what is the purpose of this seemingly endless and torturous season of singlehood?  Is it merely to show that you’re unwanted, have some strange deficiency you can’t fix and that actually God has called you to celibacy without you knowing? Of course not! But those are mainly the doubts looming behind the emotions that escape every once in awhile…or more often than that? 

The purpose of your season as a single, like all seasons of life, is to draw you even deeper into knowing who Christ is. It is to draw you into marriage with your true Bridegroom. 

God has called us and given us grace to fulfill the first and greatest commandment, to love Him with our all. 

I’m so thankful for what the Lord did in my heart when I was still single. He opened up wounds to bring healing, truth and the water of His pure love into each and every scar He touched. With each spot He healed, I saw more clearly, stood straighter in who I am in His eyes. The fruits of my single season is what allows me to fully enjoy my marriage now. 

I can’t tell you that it’s not difficult, painful or lonely. It is. It is hard. It is lonely at times. You can’t escape it. You can run, you can put on another movie, read another book on relationship rather than talk to God about the pain He’s inviting you into. You can call up your girlfriends go out to Chipotle and then Starbucks afterwards. But it will still be waiting when you come home. It’ll be there next to you at night when you put your head on your pillow. 

The persistence of the Lord to expose each wound is not to torment you, it is His zeal for truth to come into your every part. We cannot delight in the Lord when we are fearful of Him, doubting His goodness by shrinking back. We delight in the Lord by allowing Him to help us take steps into each door He knocked on. As we delight in Him, His leadership, He gives us the desire of our hearts. As we delight in Him, it prepares us to fully receive, fully rejoice, fully marry every good and perfect gift He has and will give to us. 

So for all the singles out there, I pray that the Lord will strengthen you and release grace to your hearts to come to Him as you are and let Him put healing balm of His truth into your pain. 

Your pain is not evidence of your sinfulness, failure or rejection. It is an invitation to usher you into His glory. The enemy may whisper otherwise, but it is the truth. 

Through the pain of facing his rejection of Christ, Peter discovered the deep love of Christ, determined not by his faithfulness but by Christ’s alone. Speaking to Christ face to face after rejecting his beloved friend, Peter was healed of shame and raised to be the rock of the Church. 

These days are not in vain but unto greater glory. Unto blessed and joyful marriages. Unto children with healed parents, parents who know the Lord so they can lead their children further into Him. It’s unto marriage to the Lamb.