you’ll find him when you’re not looking: ha!

How many have heard someone say to you, “you’ll find him when you least expect” or better yet, “when you’re not looking.” That phrase haunted me for a long time because I felt that I’m NEVER EVER not looking! AHHHHHHHH….

Other times I’ll find myself asking, am I “looking” today for fear that I’m delaying God’s promise with my lack of self-control. 

I’ll never forget the day when a speaker at a conference shared that this statement was in fact NOT true. Glory, Hallelujah! I felt such a huge relief when she shared it from the stage that she too felt that she was never “not looking” prior to marrying. 

I have to admit, I was looking when God brought Dustin into my life and opened his eyes to me (you can read about our story here). Mainly it was because God told me it was the season. (So I was looking, but also resting in Him in some ways. It wasn’t perfect though.)

Not Looking 

I feel that I should further define what “not looking” means to calm you gals down. I believe that it means simply you are open to the Lord leading you and not demanding that leather jacket wearing hot British drummer boy be “the one.” It means going on the journey of letting God teach you how to rest with confidence in His goodness and submitting to His sovereignty. 

“Not looking” doesn’t mean that you don’t EVER struggle with being attracted to some cute guy. It does not mean that you have absolutely no desire for marriage and you’d be happy living in a convent for the rest of your life. 

I feel that God wants to encourage you single ladies out there that He’s not looking for you to do this whole waiting thing perfectly on your own. He is not saying that your struggles, failures and imperfections are prolonging the wait. He’s not adding an additional year each time you “look.” 

I know we all want formulas, we want answers to our questions and to take a magic pill that will make it all stop hurting so badly but life’s an adventure. There are no heroines out there who did not have to fight an epic battle. This is your battleground, the struggles and longings of your heart. So hop on your horse missy and don’t forget your bow and arrow and long billowing dress. 

Go to the Lord, tell Him how you feel and give Him opportunities to respond and show you how amazing He is. Only He know truly what your precious heart needs to hear. The things the Lord spoke to me when I was single and struggling are things I treasure the most in my heart. Those words laid a foundation that my marriage is set on today. Blessings on your wrestle. It’s gonna be a good one! Let me know what He says to you! 

I waited patiently for the Lord; He inclined to me and heard my cry. (Psalm 40:1) 

*keep the questions coming : ) have a blessed weekend!